JUST [?] 20 CEDIS

A little over a month ago, I was in the hospital. I had just finished with my doctor and headed to the dispensary to pick up my prescription. When I got there it was a bit crowded so I stood close to the entrance, my back against the wall, my eyes lazily scanning the room. Then I noticed her; a young woman with a baby strapped to her back – a very sick-looking dozing baby. She had just taken her bill from the dispenser and stood staring at it for a while. It caught my interest so I decided to pay close attention. She moved to the back of the room and sat, rummaging through her bag, avoiding all eyes. After a while, she stood, went back to the dispenser and asked if she could have the prescription back cos all she had left was enough money to get a car home. The dispenser asked if she was sure she’d get the drugs from a pharmacy near home when she got there and she nodded, but there was something about that gesture that just slightly broke my heart. She took the prescription, by which time I had already reached into my purse.

Now, I am a National Service Personnel – so close your eyes and imagine the state of my purse at any given time. And I was yet to settle my own bills, though part was sorted thankfully by insurance, so I could only give the little I could. I folded the 20 cedi note in my hands, waiting for her to come pass. I let her walk past me before I followed, caught up and stopped her. I asked if she did not think the drugs will be cheaper there than in the pharmacies outside, and she said it was the other way around. “Saa? Ok, Ɛnneɛ wodeɛ gye wei, woduru fie a na wode atᴐ,” I said, pushing the folded note into her hand. I was a little startled when she grabbed my hand suddenly and whispered a string of blessings and thanks for over a minute! All I thinking was, “Okaayyyy, okayyy, it’s okay now, it is just 20 cedis.” I smiled and went back to the dispensary.

This is not so much the focus of my account, but what happened after.

I walked out of the hospital some 15 minutes later, and there the woman was, seated on the dwarf wall right there at the entrance. The moment she saw me, she shot up and walked briskly to me. “Me kunu se mengye wo number mma no,” she said. I was surprised. Apparently she had called her husband and told him what had happened and he had requested for my name and contact and that was why she was waiting. I gave it to her, still surprised at the drama, wished her well and went my way.

Two weeks later, I got a call… He spoke in English so I will just replay the entire conversation as it happened…

Man : Please is this Amma?

Me: Yes please, who is this?

Man: The man you help his wife at hospital the other time.

Me: Ooooh helloooo, how is the baby now?

Man: Oh Madam, He is well. 

Me: We thank God.

Man: Hmmm, Madam you see, it’s not that I did not want to call you o! But the thing that you do for my boy, you no do it for the boy o. You do it for me. [By this time his voice sounded like he was fighting tears] You see that morning eh, we wake up and me and my wife we see that the boy is very sick, but even the money is not there. But I look at the boy and I know the boy must go to hospital. E no easy, madam. So i tell my wife to take him. I have no money but I tell the woman it doesn’t matter, go. So when she call me that this is what happen, I said O God have done it! So I said let me collect your number, and let me call and say God bless you. But anytime I pick the number I say No, let me pray for this woman. Then today I say let me call….

Then he went on to bless me, blessed the husband and children I don’t have yet…added that he will never stop praying for me, that someday I will know that it is because of what I did for his boy…. I could only say ‘Amens’ to all that and nothing more. I wished him well and ended the call. But sitting dumbstruck immediately after, all I kept thinking of was….

IT WAS JUST 20 CEDIS!!!!!

But then after I processed everything I was amazed at the man’s faith and thought to learn greatly from it. Also, one other thing I noted was that…the vessel through which God operates is very important, because I did debate within me what exactly it was I was doing. “Ei, has she told you she needs money?” “What if she rejects it and embarrasses you?” “What if you end up embarrassing her?”

After this had all happened I acknowledged also the fact that, there were so many people in that room but it was her I noticed. The impulse to do what I did was too strong to ignore. I had no idea there was a story this remarkable behind it all, but then yes, it happened, and it was just 20 cedis, but it taught me a great deal on faith and how it works, and I believe it taught this young man and his wife too.

May His name be praised!

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Extended Metaphor…

One of my favorite preachers, Isaac Pitre said, to paraphrase, becoming a new creature as the Bible tells us, setting aside the old ‘man’, is a transformation, like the caterpillar into a butterfly…

The butterfly as a metaphor for new birth or the metamorphosis of the caterpillar into this beautiful creature is probably overused example for the process of change. But as Maya Angelou’s quote states, have we ever paid closer attention to that process of change? The transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly?

Well then, I begin my extended metaphor; permit me to bore you.

The caterpillar stuffs itself with leaves, growing bigger. One day, the caterpillar stops eating, hangs upside down from a twig or leaf and spins a chrysalis in which it hides. In this chrysalis the caterpillar transforms, eventually emerging as a butterfly.

Note, the caterpillar stops…it stops eating. There, that’s choice! and hangs there, as if for dear life, creates a bubble around itself and then…

…it digests itself, releasing enzymes to dissolve all of its tissues.

Ha! Hold on a bit let me settle down, I am a bit too giddy. The caterpillar then digests itself! Mr. Creepy Crawly hangs there, in one place, closes himself out of the buzz of the world and takes himself in, all of himself, and breaks himself down…what do we call it? Introspection? Self-examination/assessment/evaluation? Yup! afterwards, it releases enzymes to dissolve all of its tissues. Another preacher I know, often says “Mortify your flesh. Kill it!” That is exactly what the caterpillar does. After digestion was done what was the outcome? Why, this has got to go! I’m all slimy, crawling on my belly. Enough of that!  Now let us look at something here;

Certain highly organized groups of cells known as imaginal discs survive the digestive process. Before hatching, when a caterpillar is still developing inside its egg, it grows an imaginal disc for each of the adult body parts it will need as a mature butterfly . In some species, these imaginal discs remain dormant throughout the caterpillar’s life; in other species, the discs begin to take the shape of adult body parts even before the caterpillar forms a chrysalis. Some caterpillars walk around with tiny rudimentary wings tucked inside their bodies, though you would never know it by looking at them.

Oooh Bless Jesus! (*Does the angelic boogie and bursts into song “He lives in you!” la-la-la-la!!!*) See? it is in you! This caterpillar was walking around with wings tucked inside his body and poor fella didn’t even know, was crawling all over the place when the very sky was waiting to occupy him! Haha!

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them…” [Genesis 1:27]

Wait, did you read that well?

Before hatching, when a caterpillar is still developing inside its egg, it grows an imaginal disc for each of the adult body parts it will need as a mature butterfly….

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” [Psalm 139:13]

Ok, moving on…

Once a caterpillar has disintegrated all of its tissues except for the imaginal discs, those discs use the protein-rich soup all around them to fuel the rapid cell division required to form the wings, antennae, legs, eyes, and all the other features of an adult butterfly…

Except for the imaginal discs…except for those..then that reaches out to all the elements around needed to grow it to start the formation of the new man. I intend not to say much.

To end this,

Disturbing a caterpillar inside its chrysalis risks botching the transformation. 

And that is very important. There is the need for the transformation to be completed. No half-baked, one-winged butterfly but a full grown beauty!

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” [Psalm 139:14]

And when the butterfly emerges from the cocoon, the heavens open and promises burst forth, mingled finely with praise;

ISAIAH 43:

But now, this is what the Lord says—     he who created you, Jacob,     he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;     I have summoned you by name; you are mine. ² When you pass through the waters,     I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers,     they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,     you will not be burned;     the flames will not set you ablaze. ³ For I am the Lord your God,     the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom,     Cush^[a] and Seba in your stead. ⁴ Since you are precious and honored in my sight,     and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you,     nations in exchange for your life. ⁵ Do not be afraid, for I am with you;     I will bring your children from the east     and gather you from the west. ⁶ I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’     and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’ Bring my sons from afar     and my daughters from the ends of the earth— ⁷ everyone who is called by my name,     whom I created for my glory,     whom I formed and made.”

⁸ Lead out those who have eyes but are blind,     who have ears but are deaf. ⁹ All the nations gather together     and the peoples assemble. Which of their gods foretold this     and proclaimed to us the former things? Let them bring in their witnesses to prove they were right,     so that others may hear and say, “It is true.” ¹⁰ “You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord,     “and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me     and understand that I am he.

WITH A SINGLENESS OF HEART…

In today’s world, we find people stand by their belief that God does not exist, and live their lives accordingly, and so it is clear to us, when we look upon the lives of such people, that truly, they do not believe in the existence of God; they live for themselves. When I look at myself, and look back at the years, I am ashamed. God does exist, I do believe, and that is where I stand. But how have I lived that? Have I lived a Christ-like life? So that I do not need to tell I believe and am Christian, but my life spells it out clearly? NO. I do not need to ask anybody, the truth is clear to see, and it shames me.

HYPOCRISY is the word. I have been a hypocrite for so long I do not remember where last I left myself. The thing about the Christian life is the singularity of it, and that is what this blog post is about. In ordinary things of life, we find that our acquaintances are formed per our interests, beliefs and principles. So also is the Christian life. If it be true, your circles will reflect that. If you are unashamedly Christian, deeply grounded in the godly, and in no way supportive of the ungodly, your circles will reflect it. The Chorus to Jonathan McReynold’s No Gray says;

And if it’s God that I’m after
I can’t serve two masters
And before something happens
I got to turn it all around
Because I know
I can’t just have my cake and eat it too
Cause it’s real easy to stay on the fence and still do you
And it’d be cool if we could love the Lord and still go do our thing
But see it doesn’t work like that
You got to be white or black

And that is the truth of the matter. When you choose white, it will be evident, and vice versa. But what do we see happening, and by that I use myself as an example, as well as some of the lies I fed on to fuel my double-mindedness and life of deceit for years, and years. It doesn’t work like that. You cannot love the Lord, and still be immoral, you cannot love the Lord and be the drunk at that party each time, you cannot love the Lord and be high on drugs, you cannot…you cannot, and the devil knows that he can stand and accuse us as liars when we live like this and so he convinces us that it is okay. That Grace makes it okay. Do we not see what is happening here? Does this not remind us of something that happened long, long ago? Do we not see the deception?

Let us go back to our Bibles then, to Genesis 3:1, which says that The Serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God REALLY (emphasis mine) say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”

And we all know that was what started sin in our world, till Jesus Christ came and died, and atoned for them all and saved us from death. But let us not forget that the devil is still going about like what? A roaring Lion! Snooping around in search of those he can devour, tear apart. When we are in a safe place, he cannot reach us…we have to venture out to where he can pounce on us, and he does his best by luring us, as he did before in Eden, he continues to do even now – deceit, taking the truth and twisting it. So yes, Jesus came, He died, He canceled all sin, and we became righteous in the eyes of the Almighty God. Then in crawls the slithering conniving serpent again and whispers;

Are you sure, this cross, does not DOUBLE as a TICKET to FOOL AROUND, you Christian? Has Christ not FORGIVEN even TOMORROW’S WRONGS? Can you not DO THEM and be assured even before you do them that they are counted unto you as RIGHTEOUSNESS and NOT SIN? You are no longer SINNERS under the LAW but are RIGHTEOUS under the GRACE of JESUS CHRIST. Go on and do all these things listed in the Bible as unbefitting of a child of God, including sexual immorality, covetousness, evil concupiscence, lying, cheating, and all forms of profanity. Why? Because of GRACE!

I am not a preacher, neither am I a saint. I am merely a young Christian woman, fresh out of the throes of the evil one and I feel moved to speak the truth which has set me free today. Grace, my dear one reading this, is not a ticket for sin, neither is it a one-time pass to heaven, allowing us to live as we please. No, no, I lived that lie once, no!

No! Grace is screaming to us in Romans 2:4 saying;

Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

Wait, can you NOT see? That his Grace is what keeps you alive, gives you another chance, prods you to make that choice to live and live for God, and when you choose that new life, you then become a new creature, with a new nature, not under law but under grace, and so your nature is no longer evil, but righteous, and so you must feed that new you with what edifies it? If you believe this day that Jesus Christ is Lord, and you confess it with your mouth, receive him into your heart, do you NOT see Grace at work when in spite of where you have been, what you have done, he steps in and begins to work in and with you? Do you NOT see that this is Grace? Why then do you allow the devil to deceive you? While we were still sinners, people. While we were still sinners! Is it now, that we are His, that we will live in filth, with the anthem ‘He forgives’ as our mantra that keeps us in that filth?

NO! The prescription for the new life Grace bought for us, and we accepted by accepting Christ is this;

Do not let sin control the way you live, do not give in to sinful desires. Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have NEW LIFE. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. SIN IS NO LONGER YOUR MASTER, for you no longer live under the requirement of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s GRACE. [Romans 6:12-14]

This prescription does not condemn us when we fall, but encourages us, by forgiving us, and helping us back up and into His light, the blood he shed, cleansing us once again and making us fit for heaven yet that, DOES NOT MEAN we live in filth deliberately. The availability of cleansing power of His blood does not mean we live as we used to when we were dead and not born again.

For years now, this is how I lived – under the control of my flesh, I tried drugs, I took alcohol, and as for sexual immorality, I cannot begin to describe the gravity of the rot I was in, and will come out of, and go back to, and in, and out. I gave in to sensualities at the least rise in temptation, no self-control, no resistance. It does not mean He did not forgive me each time I fell. Oh there were more times I felt His presence than Not, but my heart, was never singular, and that was the reason why I so easily kept falling. See McReynolds’ song comes back to mind, and here the verse one says;

Lord I’m split in two
Part of me loves the world
And the other loves You
And that was me. My occasional actions proved my love for the world, my conscience and grieving spirit proved my love for God. How is that the new life? We deceive ourselves. See, to have control over sin, and not the other way round, we need to make use of Grace, and step into the new life. And what is the new life. Romans chapter 8 spells it out as Life in the Spirit. Our free will opens us to choice; Life or Death. Grace is in Life, works in Life, and abounds in Life. Very often we deceive ourselves into thinking we are in Life. But assess yourselves, using the Bible as a tool. The CHOICE is a SINGULAR one. WHITE or BLACK. HOT or COLD. NO GRAY. LUKEWARM is detestable to the Lord. HE WILL SPEW YOU OUT! White is when you become His child. White is when you live in the spirit, when sin is not your nature and by deference we know what Black is;

Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that PLEASE the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. [Romans 8:5-6]

Where now do we truly attest to that we stand? I attest to the truth that I was lukewarm before – Controlled in mind by my sinful nature. When I stood before a mirror naked, it appealed to me, I wanted to flaunt it. I remember just recently sharing semi-nude pictures of me and one gentleman confessing to me that he was “officially lusting” after me and I also remember how satisfying that was, that I was wanted, by a man. Can I go right back to Romans 6 where the Lord instructed;

Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin?

What was I doing? If by Grace I was in the spirit, I wouldn’t think that, I wouldn’t do that, I wouldn’t feel that! Who was I lying to? Who was I living for? I was parading as Christian but I WAS NOT! I WAS NOT! And a lot of young people do that. “I am Christian, Grace abounds, He has cleansed me and made me righteous, Grace, Grace, Grace.” What does your mind tell you to do more often than not? Lies, Sex, Drugs, Alcohol, Filthy Communication because that is the new cool? Ask yourselves these, and you will know whether or not you have received this new life.

Let us not be deceived.  Through the power of this Spirit that is the new life in you, you WILL put to death your sinful nature and you will LIVE. [Romans 8:13] The Bible has said it and it is true!

I have come to learn it is not by the tag given you by friends either because you hold your argument well for the Bible, or based on past standing. It is not all who call on His name, who are for him…and the last day shall reveal this. That is why we must snap out of this deceit; choose the New life which requires us to mortify this flesh. Confess our sins to God, confess that He is our saviour, and then putting on the full amour of God, fight against the enemy. Those things which are clearly stated should not be named amongst the practicing saint, let it not be named among us. Fornication is not okay, all forms of sexual immorality are not okay, greed is not okay, lying is not okay, murder, covetousness, they are NOT okay. Do not be lied to!

Yet they have not eternally condemned us. If we let them go, He is MERCIFUL. I let them go. I STOPPED LYING TO MYSELF. I ACKNOWLEDGED THEY WERE NOT OKAY. I WAS IN THE WORLD UP TO MY EYEBROWS! Slowly losing the white in me – GRAY RAPIDLY TURNING BLACK. And this is only the beginning. Temptations will come, I have lost friends, I have let a lot go, I will lose more, and I will let more go. But I know the end…it is GOOD. It is FULFILLING. It is where GOD WANTS ME.

What sorrow awaits the world, because it tempts people to sin. Temptations are inevitable, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting. So if your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better to enter eternal life with only one hand or one foot than to be thrown into eternal fire with both of your hands and feet. [Matthew 18:7-8]

It is in this new life, that though we may falter, his grace remains sufficient, his forgiveness infinite. He will hold us up, and present us as righteous. And it is GRACE that releases us from the hold of sin and guilt.

Do not feel too sinful, too caught up in the world to take on this new life. The curtain is divided, salvation is available to all. Step out of your old selves, step into the new life, with a singleness of heart, which is the most important thing.

With this decision will come the resolution to yield to change, yield to the mortification of your flesh and its desires. A CONSCIOUS effort to put aside and bury all that was a part of your old and sinful self and stand with a single choice, AS I HAVE CHOSEN, WITH A SINGLENESS OF HEART – Life, Christ, AMAZING GRACE!

GOD in small things.

“The dreams have become the mouthpiece

of the subconscious which the conscious

must begin to heed”

–Daniel Kojo Appiah [O’Zionn]

Over the past weeks or to be completely honest, for months now, I have struggled with/in myself and what I will comfortably call a faith crisis. This is nothing new in the history of man and in the lifestyle we call Christian, but each individual experience is unique, I believe. I could let a few secrets out concerning what some other writers have penned about me, concerning this journey I have been on, but I wouldn’t want to do that.

The year is almost over and too damn much has happened…I have come this close to death, how many times? Smelling December around the corner fills me with nostalgia. In another blog post I will chronicle my little and great joys in spite of all the odds, but in this post I am merely going through my most dominant thoughts these past few weeks, and especially this morning.

I woke up to James Burns’ hymn playing in my head, especially the third verse…

Hushed was the evening hymn.

The temple courts were dark,

The lamp was burning dim

Before the sacred ark,

When suddenly a voice divine

Rang through the silence of the shrine

The old man meek and mild,

The priest of Israel, slept;

His watch the temple child,

The little Levite kept:

And what from Eli’s sense was sealed,

The Lord to Hannah’s son revealed

O give me Samuel’s ear,

The open ear, O Lord,

Alive and quick to hear

Each whisper of Thy word;

Like him to answer at Thy call

And to obey Thee first of all

 

O give me Samuel’s heart,

A lowly heart that waits

Where in Thy house Thou art

Or watches at Thy gates

By day and night – a heart that still

Moves at the breathing of Thy will

O give me Samuel’s mind

A sweet un-murmuring faith,

Obedient and resigned

To Thee in life and death

That I may read with childlike eyes,

Truths that are hidden from the wise

 

This was an immediate thought from the dream I woke up from, almost like a reaction or response to what happened in the dream in which I said some really deep and moving prayer…I choose to rework it into a poem of sorts;

It is from

A million miles

Off

That I stand

Hoping

You get this stench

Off

Me, so you smell

My essence once again

And send

Angels, as search dogs

To find me

For I know not

Where I am

I only know

I am far

Far away

And

I stink

Too

Too Far Away

With this happening in my dream, waking up to James Burns on my mind, and later reading Hebrews 11 and the first 5 verses in chapter 12, together with a conversation with my most favorite writer friend, I trembled with excitement at the epiphany!

The year has been part shit, part such immense overflow of mercies and miracles I would not know where to begin from; miracles, some of which I now write about. And to think, some of my worst moments have also been this same year. One understands the world better, one understands God better.

There are a lot of things I have brushed aside, or been reluctant to blog about, and that has been how I feel about my gift of writing and how it is intrinsically linked with my faith such that I cannot remove one from the other. I guess today breaks that somehow.

Realization seemed to have seeped from the subconscious, as my opening quote suggested. The time comes when one must accept change, some calling of a sort and be tuned off from what might interfere. We have freewill, no? Once you choose, to hell with whoever chose otherwise, no? I am beaming here! 😀 And I bless and praise God copiously for such moments when you learn so much through the most unusual of means.

As unconventional as I am, I know, feel, love, understand the Lord so much sometimes it is funny, how it works out, especially when I go off the grid and get nudged back through ways as this. Lol! My God, my sweet, sweet Lord.

And in my day to day activities I ask that I feel Him more, know Him more, as I get more acquainted with Grace and what it stands for.

Being a hymn lover, I sign off with these;

O joy that seekest me through pain,

I cannot close my heart to Thee:

I trace the rainbow through the rain

And feel the promise is not vain,

The morn shall tearless be.

Grace taught my soul to pray

And made my eyes overflow

Tis grace which kept me to this day

And will not let me go.

FROM THAT PEACE, COMES JOY

When all Thy mercies, O my God,

My rising soul surveys,
Transported with the view, I’m lost
In wonder, love and praise.

Thy Providence my life sustained,
And all my wants redressed,
While in the silent womb I lay,
And hung upon the breast.

To all my weak complaints and cries
Thy mercy lent an ear,
Ere yet my feeble thoughts had learned
To form themselves in prayer.

Unnumbered comforts to my soul
Thy tender care bestowed,
Before my infant heart conceived
From Whom those comforts flowed.

When in the slippery paths of youth
With heedless steps I ran,
Thine arm unseen conveyed me safe,
And led me up to man.

Through hidden dangers, toils, and deaths,
It gently cleared my way;
And through the pleasing snares of vice,
More to be feared than they.

O how shall words with equal warmth
The gratitude declare,
That glows within my ravished heart?
But thou canst read it there.

Thy bounteous hand with worldly bliss
Hath made my cup run o’er;
And, in a kind and faithful Friend,
Hath doubled all my store.

Ten thousand thousand precious gifts
My daily thanks employ;
Nor is the last a cheerful heart
That tastes those gifts with joy.

When worn with sickness, oft hast Thou
With health renewed my face;
And, when in sins and sorrows sunk,
Revived my soul with grace.

Through every period of my life
Thy goodness I’ll pursue
And after death, in distant worlds,
The glorious theme renew.

When nature fails, and day and night
Divide Thy works no more,
My ever grateful heart, O Lord,
Thy mercy shall adore.

Through all eternity to Thee
A joyful song I’ll raise;
For, oh, eternity’s too short
To utter all Thy praise!

I sang those last two lines more than twice and I can’t keep my tears in check anymore! Eternity sure is too short to utter all the praise I intend for God!! I slept quite early last night (a little after 11 – yeah that’s early for me) and dreamt of hymn lyrics and prayer and verses and stuff I had over the weeks, read here and there in my silent search for God. Or should I say in His frantic search for me? That is something I’ll talk about another time – The time when I tell the complete story. It was almost as if I wasn’t asleep, it felt so peaceful and through it I was singing at a point, then praying at a point…even praying for particular people I’ve been talking to God about recently. It was a wonderful dream – so real!

I woke up not long ago with this hymn on my mind and I just went straight into singing it. I must say the alto is beautiful, I wish I could attach my voice to this post!

When morning gilds the sky

My heart awaking cries

May Jesus Christ be praised

Alike at work and prayer

To Jesus I repair

May Jesus Christ be praised!

It IS a beautiful hymn. KNUST choir has it on one of their hymn collections and my, they really do justice to it! The way this week is ending or has ended for me makes me understand certain things that happened in the beginning of the week. This week has really been something else! But it has all been worth it. I’m sorry if I seem not to be saying anything in particular, I’m so happy, singing as I type in the dark, I want to go out there, with the morning still fresh and sing out loud, the words to the first hymn I quoted – another beautiful tune.

Now looking within me and seeing such calm, such peace, so much joy. I am gushing with so much love for my Saviour, this hymn comes to mind…

THEE will I love, my strength, my tower,
Thee will I love, my joy, my crown,
Thee will I love with all my power,
In all thy works, and thee alone;
Thee will I love, till the pure fire
Fill my whole soul with chaste desire

Ah, why did I so late thee know,
Thee, lovelier than the sons of men!
Ah, why did I no sooner go
To thee, the only ease in pain!
Ashamed, I sigh, and inly mourn,
That I so late to thee did turn.

In darkness willingly I strayed,
I sought thee, yet from thee I roved;
Far wide my wandering thoughts were spread,
Thy creatures more than thee I loved;
And now if more at length I see,
‘Tis through thy light and comes from thee.

I thank thee, uncreated Sun,
That thy bright beams on me have shined;
I thank thee, who hast overthrown
My foes, and healed my wounded mind;
I thank thee, whose enlivening voice
Bids my freed heart in thee rejoice.

Uphold me in the doubtful race,
Nor suffer me again to stray;
Strengthen my feet with steady pace
Still to press forward in thy way;
My soul and flesh, O Lord of might,
Fill, satiate, with thy heavenly light.

Give to mine eyes refreshing tears,
Give to my heart chaste, hallowed fires,
Give to my soul, with filial fears,
The love that all heaven’s host inspires;
That all my powers, with all their might,
In thy sole glory may unite.

When I think back to all the times of pointless worrying, heartaches, sadness….the very darkness I wallowed in, while this – this very state I am in now, could have been gotten a long time before now, I beat my chest! What took you so long, Amma! But then “It is better late than never” right?

Now with today, here with me, I will not think of tomorrow. Life, a day at a time, has taught me trust. What is ahead of me, I will not worry about, what is here with me, I need not worry about, what is past and gone, well, why should I worry about that?! Human as we are, these things are not easy. But I find myself accepting these struggles with sin and temptation, with joy in my heart – no one said it is going to get easier. It is, in fact, going to get tougher. Acknowledging I cannot survive a full day without God is what makes the difference. Changes the battle plans. And so

Fierce may be the conflict, strong may be the foe,
But the King’s own army none can overthrow;
’Round His standard ranging, victory is secure,
For His truth unchanging makes the triumph sure.
Joyfully enlisting, by Thy grace divine,
We are on the Lord’s side—Savior, we are Thine!

THAT, is the difference between my yesterdays and my today!! I could go on and on but I will end right here with Thanksgiving as I started with, for God has not only found me, and I Him, He has assured me that once we keep this relationship going and growing, peace and joy will keep increasing and O how true it is with this drop of it I’ve tasted! When constantly I hear the reminder…”stop and pray”…ooooh if i could tell it all in detail! But no, not yet.

MAY JESUS CHRIST BE PRAISED!!

 Which brings to mind this anthem – Rejoice in the Lord Alway – Henry Purcell

(also known as the Bell Anthem)

LIGHT WITHIN

When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodg’d with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest he returning chide,
“Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?”
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies: “God doth not need
Either man’s work or his own gifts: who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly; thousands at his bidding speed
And post o’er land and ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and wait.”

John Milton again. After reading his Epic, Paradise lost, up to three times last year, this is another of his works I fell in love with. I have read, and re-read, and again, and again. It’s no surprise why I love it. I love poetry that speaks to or for me. Sometimes, or most times, or is it all the time? I try to imagine what the writer must have been feeling when he/she wrote it. Because of the nature of what I write, it is almost always a very naked experience for me; writing and especially putting it out there. Although I never openly said that my poetry is confessional, well, there are smart readers who catch/caught on. So yeah I had to admit it. Now this just made me smile. I remember admitting somewhere that I do write confessional poetry and one writer friend of mine said “Really, i’m going back to read all of your poems then.” I didn’t ask him why he was suddenly interested again. People will be people.

Now back to Milton, and his confessional sonnet. Like the nature of sonnets this being Italian/Petrarchan, a problem is presented, questions asked, in the octave, and then resolved in the sestet that follows. He asks really deep questions, directed at God.  I particularly like the contrast in the poem…the light, and the darkness. See, he was a writer, he needed his eyes to work. Going blind was the worst ever to happen to him (or so it seemed initially) and so he battled within himself. “Why?” One day the world is before him, with the beautiful and the ugly and the enticing and repulsive, he could see them all; a vast store of inspiration scattered all around him. Another day he wakes and the world is dark, and his talent (light) seems useless. What does one do with this much potential, when the world has been shut out? How does one use the fire that burns inside, with the world closed off? Keep it buried? So you drown in it? Every time I read the poem, I asked myself these questions. Does it really matter? Should you be out there to shine? Can you not shine in one small corner, so bright, that the world rather strains to catch a glimpse? Wondering what it is that shines so bright in that place they never cared to look before?

Milton did not give up. As the answer in the sestet says….

“God doth not need
Either man’s work or his own gifts: who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best.”

The answer is to wait. Milton believed his talent was from God, and he believed his blindness had come from God. Now what do we make of this? You give me a task that requires my sight and you take my sight? What are you up to God? What is this? A game? I am double sure Milton had similar thoughts before, during, and even after he wrote this sonnet. He wrote the truth he knew, although he was battling with it. Who says its easy holding on to truth that almost seems illogical? I can relate to every single line of this poem. Milton did not choose to go blind, he didn’t ask for the world to be put out before him. It just happened. Now when I think of Paradise lost, and that Milton wrote it in darkness, I just can’t hide my smile. Have you read the epic? No? My! You should. Greatness…greatness! The only light he knew was in him. In his head. He went into himself. And from that light…he told the epic, while his wife wrote. I can almost hear him say these opening lines;

“Sing Heav’nly Muse, that on the secret top

Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst inspire

That Shepherd, who first taught the chosen Seed,
In the Beginning how the Heav’ns and Earth
Rose out of Chaos: Or if Sion Hill [ 10 ]
Delight thee more, and Siloa’s Brook that flow’d

Fast by the Oracle of God; I thence
Invoke thy aid to my adventrous Song,
That with no middle flight intends to soar
Above th’ Aonian Mount, while it pursues 
Things unattempted yet in Prose or Rhime.
And chiefly Thou O Spirit, that dost prefer
Before all Temples th’ upright heart and pure,
Instruct me, for Thou know’st; Thou from the first
Wast present, and with mighty wings outspread 
Dove-like satst brooding on the vast Abyss
And mad’st it pregnant: What in me is dark
Illumin, what is low raise and support;
That to the highth of this great Argument
I may assert Eternal Providence, 
And justifie the wayes of God to men.”

“And justify the ways of God to men” and i’m smiling yet again, tempted to quote the whole of book one! 😀

Reading about him and his works that excite me so, I am at peace, now sure more than ever, we all do not need to be out there. Some of us should be in here. Only a period of waiting. Just a matter of time. Last night after reading the sonnet again, I wrote this. Not the best poem I’ve written, but here goes;

When Milton wrote

“They also serve

Who only stand and wait”
He must have known
How hard it was
To pen those words

True as they were

While fear lurked behind,
Rabid dogs
Barking
Wildly
Around the stone wall

Tempted to give up

With
Morning delayed
By an unexpected
Eclipse
He must have known
To wait
Is no easy task
But wait

I must.

END OF YEAR: on self-examination and grit.

Early on in the day, i thought of blogging my father’s sermon (yes, he’s a pastor) but I wasn’t decided until I tuned in to Writers’ Project on CitiFM tonight and heard their opening poem. After reading the poem over several times it felt perfect for this time for year and especially perfectly related to how the last few weeks of the year has been for me. I am typing this with so much excitement, i’m surprised at myself, I must admit, I am happy I tuned in and heard that poem. My mind’s made up. So here goes. I listened to my father preach today and I just sat there listening, taking it all in. Now, i’ll share what I put down in my notes.

“The end of every year brings us closer to eternity, and it is needful that at such times we do some self-examination. This self-examination must be done on two levels; 1. On a personal level, and 2. At the level of the church or family, because you belong to one. The best that should have been done was for us to do a daily self-examination, so that the end-of-year reflection becomes a summary of what you did throughout the year. 

The need for this self-examination stems from the fact that one must not trust or believe him/herself too much. Trusting yourself too much in the sense that you feel you can face any temptation without faltering. This kind over-confidence leads to complacency (believing too much in your own success) which then makes you foolhardy (taking stupid and unnecessary risks with foolish boldness). 

When we acknowledge that we need God in order to resist temptation, it is then that we don’t fall. But we do falter, and so we must, at the end of each day, ask ourselves questions in all sincerity. Do not hide anything when you ask yourself these questions;

1. What infirmity have I mastered today? (infirmity here referring to a moral flaw/failing. What failing di you dwell on and became master of, allowing it to be your chief vice?)

2. What passions have I opposed (passions referring to any strongly held emotion that prevents you from serving God wholeheartedly – lust, anger, hatred, gluttony, illicit desires, and to sum it up with my favorite word concupiscence. Evil concupiscence) If you did overcome any, you should ask yourself how you did it, note it and put it to use another time. If there was any you could not overcome, ask for forgiveness and ask for strength and direction to be able to oppose it the next time.

3. What temptations have I resisted today? Some things just creep up on us unaware and if we do not watch our steps, we fall. ask yourself if you gave in to say some provocation and lost your temper, etc.

4. What virtue have I acquired? (What good thing did you learn. What good habit did you pick up to replace the old discarded ones which were leading you to destruction?)

The truth is that our vices will abate themselves if they are brought everyday, to the fore, and dealt with in this manner. And remember to do it in all sincerity. “

READING: Isaiah 9:1-7

“The verses 2 – 4 is filled with the hope that one can come out of darkness and into light. And this is for everyone. It was said for both Jew and Gentile. And when you look at Jesus’ genealogy, his bloodline was mixed with both jew and gentile blood and this was to show that he was coming to unite the world. He was to be the light that was promised in these verses. This light signifies a doctrine of liberation. Liberation from the powers of darkness. And so now we also have the power to command the devil to depart from our lives. We have the power to say to sin “no more with you!” To go down on our knees and seek God’s face, asking that he sees us through. By the grace of Jesus, we are able to go before our Lord just as we are. 

We owe it to God to take advantage of this grace by using the power he has given him. Like the hymn says

A charge to keep I have

A God to glorify

A never-dying soul to save

And fit it for the sky.”

Now to the poem I mentioned. Title is ‘On Quitting, by Edgar Albert Guest

 “How much grit do you think you’ve got?

Can you quit a thing that you like a lot?
You may talk of pluck; it’s an easy word,
And where’er you go it is often heard;
But can you tell to a jot or guess
Just how much courage you now possess?

You may stand to trouble and keep your grin,
But have you tackled self-discipline?
Have you ever issued commands to you
To quit the things that you like to do,
And then, when tempted and sorely swayed,
Those rigid orders have you obeyed?

Don’t boast of your grit till you’ve tried it out,
Nor prate to men of your courage stout,
For it’s easy enough to retain a grin
In the face of a fight there’s a chance to win,
But the sort of grit that is good to own
Is the stuff you need when you’re all alone.

How much grit do you think you’ve got?
Can you turn from joys that you like a lot?
Have you ever tested yourself to know
How far with yourself your will can go?
If you want to know if you have grit,
Just pick out a joy that you like, and quit.

It’s bully sport and it’s open fight;
It will keep you busy both day and night;
For the toughest kind of a game you’ll find
Is to make your body obey your mind.
And you never will know what is meant by grit
Unless there’s something you’ve tried to quit.”

How true this poem is, and how glad I am to have heard it today! Looking back into the year, this is what it had been. “I can let this go…I can let that go” I kept telling myself and those who cared to hear. But never doing so. Many false starts, many attempts at it, but never actually making firm decisions. And truly, I knew not what was meant by grit until I actually tried to quit that one guilty pleasure or another thing of joy which unfortunately dragged me into deeper trouble. Until I tried, by taking the necessary steps,  i did not know.

Grit in psychology is a positive, non-cognitive trait based on an individual’s passion for a particular long-term goal or end state coupled with a powerful motivation to achieve their respective objective. This passion drives you to resist the urge to undo the changes you put in place in order to make your pursuit for that treasured thing smooth. To stay put where you are (in solitude) and not allow doubts to push you out, or some fear. It pushes you to stick to sources of motivation, and truly, motivations that are strong, effective. I read this poem through and sighed. Oh it is hard…self-discipline ( I am most dreadful at keeping to it), and to give yourself commands that you obey. I can’t tell the number of times these past few weeks I have told myself out loud “Amma No! Don’t make that call! Amma No! Don’t think this way. Amma No! Don’t miss this dose (and the temptation to not take medication is high because honestly they taste like bile-flavoured shit) Amma No! Don’t give up! Amma don’t feel defeated. Amma don’t succumb to death! I have lost count. But I keep issuing this command to myself and try, try very hard to obey them. Sometimes I fail. I break down and cry. Yes, i’ve skipped a few doses or more. But the motivation is strong, and as the poem says,

“…you never will know what is meant by grit
Unless there’s something you’ve tried to quit.”

I never thought the year will end so peacefully for me. Rare kind of peace at that. But God is good.

May the New year crown our new beginnings with greatness and see us to our targeted goals.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

OF A KIND – FROM ONE TO ANOTHER

Someday I will probably have to split my life story in three. One titled darkness, and the other light…and the one that falls between will be somewhat a grey area…where the line between there and here is so thin, they intertwine, mingle and shove me into a murky trench. My story will tell of the journey from one end, the stop in the middle, and the glorious emergence to the other side. Of these two sides, are poets who touch me deeply, Sylvia Plath on one side, and Charles Wesley on the other.

I am not writing about Plath today. Fine poet she was, her influence on me will not be forgotten. I write about Charles Wesley, another poet who was not superhuman, note it…he was mortal like us, and so like us he lived, and died…he had his own journey and if you pay attention to his works, you’d know it was not always smooth. As a Christian, and a writer, i relate to Wesley as closely as I relate to Plath.

Known to have written over 6000 hymns, Charles Wesley was no doubt a great poet. His hymns are so popular I am sure most of you sing them without knowing he authored it. He, of course, is one of my favourite hymnists (yes I am a lover of hymns) Even those I cannot sing, I read. They are, after all, poems.

As I read through most of his hymns, I couldn’t help but wonder what his struggles were – his uptimes, and downtimes. What was the Christian life like for Mr. Wesley? The man wrote with such a personal touch, one can only believe he wrote of his own experiences. I dare call them confessional pieces. And I am a sucker for those, especially when they mirror my present state, when they seem to cry out for me, at moments when words desert me, at moments when I just need to offload, but I find my pen dry and my mind too crammed with emotions scattered all over the place, when I cannot sit still and churn them out with a little effort, I resort to the poetry of others. For we are one of a kind, but of course, different exposures, different minds and yet I believe each poet finds one or more of its kind he/she can completely relate to.

This morning, after church service, I felt the need to read one of his works, and again, it was just what I needed. Just the prayer I wanted to pray, just what I was feeling, the very questions that were sitting in my heart, blessed Jesus, I broke down and cried. That is a great poet. Long gone but his works live so vibrantly they enter into your very soul and shake you up, you cannot stand…it sends you down your knees because it speaks so well for you and of you! Bless him! Let me share what I read with you.

The title is Depth of Mercy.

Depth of mercy! Can there be

Mercy still reserved for me?

Can my God His wrath forbear,

Me, the chief of sinners, spare?

I have long withstood His grace,

Long provoked Him to His face,

Would not hearken to His calls,

Grieved Him by a thousand falls.

I have spilt His precious blood,

Trampled on the Son of God,

Filled with pangs unspeakable,

I, who yet am not in hell!

I my Master have denied,

I afresh have crucified,

And profaned His hallowed Name,

Put Him to an open shame.

Whence to me this waste of love?

Ask my Advocate above!

See the cause in Jesus’ face,

Now before the throne of grace.

Jesus, answer from above,

Is not all Thy nature love?

Wilt Thou not the wrong forget,

Permit me to kiss Thy feet?

If I rightly read Thy heart,

If Thou all compassion art,

Bow Thine ear, in mercy bow,

Pardon and accept me now.

Jesus speaks, and pleads His blood!

He disarms the wrath of God;

Now my Father’s mercies move,

Justice lingers into love.

Kindled His relentings are,

Me He now delights to spare,

Cries, “How shall I give thee up?”

Lets the lifted thunder drop.

Lo! I still walk on the ground:

Lo! an Advocate is found:

“Hasten not to cut Him down,

Let this barren soul alone.”

There for me the Savior stands,

Shows His wounds and spreads His hands.

God is love! I know, I feel;

Jesus weeps and loves me still.

Pity from Thine eye let fall,

By a look my soul recall;

Now the stone to flesh convert,

Cast a look, and break my heart.

Now incline me to repent,

Let me now my sins lament,

Now my foul revolt deplore,

Weep, believe, and sin no more.

There is a true story behind this hymn…one that happened many, many years ago. An ac­tress in a town in Eng­land, while pass­ing along the street, heard sing­ing in a house. Out of cur­i­o­si­ty she looked in through the open door and saw a num­ber of peo­ple sit­ting to­ge­ther sing­ing this hymn. She list­ened to the song, and af­ter­wards to a sim­ple but ear­nest pray­er. When she went away the hymn had so im­pressed her that she pro­cured a co­py of a book con­tain­ing it. Read­ing and re-read­ing the hymn led her to give her heart to God and to re­solve to leave the stage. The man­a­ger of the the­a­ter plead­ed with her to con­tin­ue to take the lead­ing part in a play which she had made fa­mous in other ci­ties, and fi­nal­ly he per­suad­ed her to ap­pear at the the­a­ter. As the cur­tain rose the or­ches­tra be­gan to play the ac­com­pa­ni­ment to the song which she was ex­pect­ed to sing. She stood like one lost in thought, and the band, sup­pos­ing her em­bar­rassed, played the prel­ude over a se­cond and a third time. Then with clasped hands she stepped for­ward and sang with deep emo­tion:

“Depth of mercy! Can there be

Mercy still reserved for me?”

This put a sud­den stop to the per­for­mance; not a few were im­pressed, though many scoffed. The change in her life was as per­ma­nent as it was sin­gu­lar. Soon af­ter she be­came the wife of a min­is­ter of the Gos­pel.

I will not say much more, but that the creative being must choose where it wants to be…and there, in darkness or in light, write…go on and write! In all its honesty, it will touch those it is meant to touch, infuriate some, repel some…but stay true to your art and where you stand (even if you stand there alone) and like Plath, or Wesley…you will attain immortality, if you get what I mean.

AN EMPTY SHELL (Excerpt from Joanna Weaver’s “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World”)

Philip wasn’t like the other children at church. Though he was a pleasant, happy boy he struggled with things that came easily to other kids, He looked different too, and everyone knew it was because he had Down syndrome. His sunday school teacher worked hard to get the third grade class to play together, but Philip’s disability made it difficult for him to fit in.

Easter was just around the corner, and the teacher had a wonderful idea for his class. He gathered big plastic eggs that pantyhose used to come in and gave one to each child. Then, together they went outside into a beautiful spring day.

“I want each of you to find something that reminds you of Easter – of new life,” the teacher explained. “Put it in the egg, and when we get inside we’ll share what we found.”

The search was glorious. It was confusing. It was wild. The boys and girls ran all over the church grounds gathering their symbols until finally, breathlessly, the eight-year olds were ready to return inside.

They put their eggs on the table, then one by one the teacher began to open them. The children stood around the table watching.

He opened one, there was a flower. Everybody oohed and aahed.

He opened another and found a butterfly. “Beautiful,” the girls all said.

He opened another and out fell a rock. The kids laughed. “A rock?” But the boy who’d found it said, “I knew you would all get flowers and leaves and stuff, so I got a rock cause I wanted to be different. That’s new life to me.” The kids laughed again.

But when the teacher opened the next egg, the group fell silent. “There’s nothing there!” said one child. “That’s stupid,” said another. “Somebody didn’t do it right.”

Just then the teacher felt a tug on his shirt and turned to see Philip standing beside him. “It’s mine,” Philip said. “It’s mine.”

The children said, “You don’t ever do things right, Philip. There’s nothing there!”

“I did so,” Philip said. “I did do it right. It’s empty. The tomb is empty!”

There was another silence. A very deep, unlikely eight-year-olds kind of silence. And at that moment a miracle happened. Philip became a part of that third grade Sunday school class. (For he had said a great truth in a very deep way). They took him in.

Three months later, Philip died. His family had known since the time he was born that he wouldn’t live out a full life span. An infection that most children would have quickly shrugged off took the life out of his body.

The day of the funeral, the church was filled with people mourning Philip’s death. But it was the sight of nine third graders walking down the aisle with their Sunday school teacher that brought tears to most eyes.

The children didn’t bring flowers. Instead, they marched right up to the altar and placed on it an empty egg – an empty, old, discarded pantyhose egg.

COMMITMENT

 

This is an excerpt from a book (Disciplines Of A Beautiful Woman by Anne Ortlund) which I read many years ago, and yet it is now that this particular message seems most relelvant to me.  Now, i’d like to share this with you all, and I pray it touches you as much as it touched me. Yes, the book was written for women, but the lessons are really for everyone.

 

“You must commit yourself to moral purity. No matter where you’re starting – from this moment on, you must. First Thessalonians 3:13 says this begins when you “strengthen your heart,” so do it right now. Say “yes” to 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, which begins, “It is God’s will that you should be holy.” 

You don’t need to pray to see if it’s God’s will for you to have sex with that wonderful Christian you love and are soon to marry; for your church to hire that homosexual who’s such a glorious musician; for you to wed that respected, long-time Christian who’s divorced wife is still alive…for you to embrace fornication, homosexuality, or adultery in any form – all defined in 1 Thessalonians 4:3 by the Greek word porneia, from which comes our word pornography.

“Abstain,” says God. He doesn’t say “Be careful” or “Pray about it” – He says “ABSTAIN! RUN FROM IT! DON’T TOUCH IT! HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!” 

Stay pure and blameless. If you don’t God will suffer most of all, (When we sin, God loses!) But you will also as a result be left with anxieties, conflicts, guilt, disease or worse.

A tell-tale sign of moral weakness and susceptibility to temptation is excessive interest in the physical – food, clothes, fitness – and a weak interest in the spiritual – prayer, the Word, fellowship, ministry. Judge yourself before the Lord.

Now let me picture for you strongly, as vividly as I can that God wants you to stay away from sin. Read carefully, a lesson from  history.

Practically, from the first, Amalek was an enemy of God. He was the grandson of Esau by a concubine (Gen. 36:12), and his tribesmen were the first to try to hinder Israel from escaping the Egyptians (Exod, 17:8-16). For that reason, on the spot God promised Moses that He’d eventually destroy the Amalekites (Exod. 17:14 – 16 ; Deut. 25:17- 19)

During the following centuries, the Amalekites fought God’s people at every opportunity – plundering them, killing them, hassling them, oppressing them – until finally God told King Saul, in effect, “Enough! The sins of the Amalekites have reached full measure, and it’s time to wipe them and all their possessions off the face of the earth.” ( 1 Sam. 15:1 – 3)

Unfortunately, Saul didn’t happen to share God’s views. So he wiped off the face of the earth the part of the Amalekites that didn’t look good to him – and spared the rest for his personal use, hoping God wouldn’t notice.

But here came God’s prophet, Samuel. Sounding as hearty and business-like-as-usual as he could, Saul chirped, “The Lord bless you! I have carried the Lord’s instructions.” (1 SAM. 15:13)

“What then” interrogated the prophet sarcastically, “is the bleating of sheep in my ears? What is the lowing of cattle that I hear? (v. 14) . Saul hadn’t fooled him a bit.

And because King Saul didn’t hate what God hated and didn’t destroy what God wanted destroyed, God took away his crown and reign. 

God hasn’t changed today. You must hate what He hates and destroy what He wants destroyed. He knows the damage these enemies do to His children, the hurt and anguish they cause to His precious ones, and when He says “kill them” – do it!

Colossians 3:5-8b is this kind of command. God says, 

“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and grees, which is idolatry…Rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.”

Friend, if you don’t think they’re as awful as God thinks they are – and if you let some of them hang around instead of killing them – understand right now that, as He did to Saul, God will remove you from your stature, He’ll cut you down from your influence. He’ll give you disgrace.

Look carefully at these things listed in Colossians 3, and ask yourself if you hate each one as God hates them. Do you let any of them hang around? Do you let them coexist in your life as if they were acceptable? Are you tolerating God’s enemies?

Nehemiah didn’t. When he came back from a trip and found Tobiah put up as a guest in God’s house – Tobiah, who’d been God’s enemy from the start – do you know that Nehemiah did? He literally threw out all Tobiah’s stuff with his own hands and had the room cleaned up and restored. (Neh. 13:6-9)

Listen, the world is full of Christians who pass around little “spiritual” books and go to Bible classes and say “praise the Lord” a lot – at the same time showing no desire to put to death the characteristics of their earthly nature.

To people like these, the love of Jesus crucified is pure sentimentality. And whether they know it or not, they are utterly without power in their lives.

True Christianity costs. It costs plenty. You kick out all the enemies. You put to death everything that God tells you to put to death. Lust must go, Greed likewise, Filthy language isn’t funny – kill it! And if any of these comes to and raises his head, bash him again!

To love God and to please Him is worth everything, everything. Your sexual immorality must go, your anger must go, your malice must go, your slander must go. All of them must go – forever! Be ruthless. Whatever the sins are that right now make you feel guilty and uneasy – hate them! Murder them! Get them once and for all out of your life!

And don’t you dare read these words just to have read one more Christian book – just for a little evangelical tickling and entertainment. Let these words jar you to instant obedience.

What lurking thing are you hosting, coddling, hanging on to, putting up with? You know how your Lord Christ feels about it.

……

You know what sin you have to put to death.

Do it with all your strength.

Personally.

Quickly!!!